4:42 p.m. - January 11, 2004
What is wrong with me?
I THINK I'M DEPRESSED-
Just when I think today can be a good day it turns to crap in a few hours. I go shopping thinking I might actually find something cool to wear on Tuesday (the field trip) and as usual I FIND NOTHING. It's beginning to get to the point that I 'settle' on clothes, I never buy anything anymore that I actually love, but things that I buy because I can't find anything better looking on the shelves. All I want is a brand new wardrobe. Is that so much to ask??? Linz who is a size 6-8 can go in a store, find oodles of stuff and leave happy as hell while I leave a store more depressed than I was when I first went in.
The Baltimore Aquarium trip is Tuesday and I'm no where near as excited as I was a month ago. We're making cookies Monday and usually Tink's the one who is so excited about getting to bake something she can't stand it and I don't even care. All I want to do is curl up and forget my problems....take a bubble bath so hot I can barely stand it and forget all the cares in the world and never come out.
I think Mom knows I'm not my usual self but she won't say anything. And I hate that it pisses her off when she trys to get me stuff and I just say forget it. Usually I'm a smiling, upbeat, happy, sing along with the radio kind of gal and I can't remember the last time I felt that way.
|TUNES| My Immortal- Evanesence (Thanks Jules!)
|MOOD| Unhappy
